Welp, today brings on one of those irritating types of moods. I had a ton of sleep apnea last night and this morning. Which makes me extremely groggy and just not feeling well. My ability to wake up nicely without any fog was ruined. I wonder if really intense emotional dreams contribute to sleep apnea. I noticed I tend to have more of a problem with it when my dreams are super intense and emotional. Hmm.

On another note, my teeth have been hurting so very badly! I need to call and set up an appointment to see a dentist but let's be honest; dentists scare the poopoo out of me! I have never had a pleasant interaction with any dentist I have ever had. They have always been either really rude or just plain don't care that I am a person behind my teeth. Having had chemotherapy and radiation, it has rotted my teeth to the point of no return and the dentists I have had blame my overweight body on my teeth instead of looking at my medical background. Frankly, that hurts. Right down to my core.

The day before yesterday was nice outside. The pine trees outside of my window were green and thriving. There was still a crispness to the air that made your breath catch a little. Now? Now it everything is back to being covered in a thick snow that is just now starting to wither away inch by inch. I want that greenness of the trees back! This snow is starting to depress me. It is bad enough we have to deal with the covid situation and then add snow storms on top of that. I've not left my house in months. I feel trapped in here. Bored of life. I need to be out in nature, soaking up the sun rays and looking for rocks that call to me from the ground.

Good evening everyone who may come across this little journal of sorts! Hope you all are having a great day. Seems like lately a bunch of small things just keep piling up and I am at the point where I feel like it is starting to turn into a huge mountain. Do you ever get that feeling? So overwhelming!

One thing I am willing to share is my male cat. Ever since he arrived here at our (my husband and I) place he has been terrorizing our two females. He scares the one so bad she has been under our bed since it started and rarely gets to come out to get food and water. The other day we finally got her to come out from under the bed and she has lost weight and her voice sounded so dry! . I am so angry at him for being this way. Whenever the one comes out from under the bed I have to stick him in the spare bedroom or bathroom temporarily just so she can feel safe enough to eat and drink. I don't know what else to do and it's getting to the point where I catch myself thinking I should just send him back to the shelter. Unfortunately, I cannot do that but it has still crossed my mind. Do any of you have any advice out there?