Kingdom of Knuffel

i've had to work through shame. feeling like i'm a bad person for being attracted to someone, because of you know. society saying that sexual desire is shameful in a woman. (funnily enough i don't feel ashamed when i'm generally horny, i'm only ashamed when it's targeted.) and trying to approach a person you're interested in can be anxiety inducing.

i have very broad definitions of sex, everything generally called foreplay is sex to me. anything sexual is sexy timez and i don't feel like it has to go the penetrative route. (and i only have clitoral orgasms so penetration is meh, whatever).

one of the sex toy brands in my country called sangya project platforms many diverse people's sexual experiences and also general sex ed and awareness on less talked of topics, and it's really great. it gives me a lot to reflect on about my own sexuality, aside from teaching me things i wouldn't find out about otherwise.

I can't remember, did you say you have a partner?

Oh I know that penetration is not the end all to sex. I mean when he doesn't feel like directly stimulating me or himself. Sometimes he'll rub against me or just hold me and pet my thighs.

I've only had clitoral orgasms as well. But I enjoy being stimulated inside too. It makes orgasming a lot easier for me.

That's cool. I do enjoy seeing more knowledge about sex being spread. So many people know so little about it.

There's a site I really like.
ohjoysextoy.com

It's got lots of information, sex toy reviews, and sexy comics.

i don't have a partner. i feel guilty and ashamed when i like someone not anymore though, i think i've worked through it mostly. i just haven't had any opportunity to meet people since the pandemic. it feels lonely ngl. especially as i've never looked cuter!

oooh that's interesting. and it makes sense, the nerves from the clitoris do extend inward as well.

yeah especially in my country. at school, sex ed was horrendously lacking. it was better at university but we had just one session.

that site is fun! thanks for the resource!

Aw, that sucks. I'm sorry that you feel ashamed when you like people, that sounds awful.

I'm glad that you've worked through it and I wish you luck with finding a kind and accepting lover!

Yeah, the clitoris kind of wraps around the vagina. It's like a V pointing down. There's a ton of clitoris under the skin that you can't see at all. And I'm amazed that was just discovered kind of recently.

Sex ed is bad here too. We get told just to not have sex. And the parents can opt-out of their kid taking it at all. I don't remember sex ed being an option in college. There was a psychology course called human sexuality. It was not required at all. But I gotta say, it was one of my favorite classes.

No problem. Sex is one of my special interests so I know a lot about it. lol.

Mynah wrote:i have very broad definitions of sex, everything generally called foreplay is sex to me. anything sexual is sexy timez and i don't feel like it has to go the penetrative route.

THIS.
This is a point of view I've tried a few times to share with my students (teenagers) whenever we discussed sex. It's very hard for them to see it this way though.
They even think (and say) silly things such as "oral sex is not really sex" ¬_¬
So trying to convince them that foreplay (as a concept) does not exist (that is is fact sex) is quite challenging.

Imho equating penetration with sex is too biased.

Amura wrote: Imho equating penetration with sex is too biased.

exactly. it's heteronormative and it excludes a lot. also not everyone is interested in or enjoys penetration. as a society we need to expand what we think of as sex.

Oh yes, just saying penetrative sex is sex is stupid.

I would say my definition of sex would be direct stimulation of genitals with mouth, hands, or genitals. Or all of the above. lol.

So when I say spouse sometimes helps without actually engaging in sex he would like rub my thighs or kiss my neck. Things that are arousing but more foreplay than sex for me.

I know many people have a lot of different definitions of sex. This is just my own personal definition.