I feel like I don't just believe in the Christian God, but in multible gods. Yet, I feel so deeply connected with them, it's errie. And, I believe that they lead my life and help me make decisions.

Why? Because odd things have always happened with previous relationships to the point where the other thought I was lying and didn't want to date them(like, 3 phone calls at work on the day I was going to a concert, making me stay late, and not a single party showing up), until my current boyfriend- everything just works out perfectly (waiting in the single rider lane, and we got to sit together still).

I feel like I could cry whenever anyone compliments me.

It feels like they are lying.

I don't want to be lied to.

I rather you just yell at me, then lie to my face....

DO NOT REPLY TO OTHER PEOPLES POSTS!!!! *STARTS GETTING ANGRY (HULK MODE XD )*

Quoting someone is not forbidden, only replying to someone.
And by replying I think she dosent mean any kind of replying, rather, when you start discussing about the other persons problems.
^ take this as a "reminder" to yourself ^^

I got most of my problems fixed ever since the last post..I guess(?)
But right now only thing that is my secret is my lack of care towards anything and everyone, I just dont, dont feel a thing as I say this or that thing or I get told something sweet or caring.
Been like this before and I hate it, usualy just makes people around me miserable.

I sometimes wish my mother would just die, so I will feel something more than disgust at her addictive lifestyle... but I know I will hate myself for thinking that when she dies.