You guys have me really worried that she isn't getting help. ;-;
//lost

Oh ok. Yea, they were making me all worried and stuff. lol

Nellie, I don't see anyone but you and one other person making the claim of her fiance not helping, and I don't think anyone would appreciate words being put into their mouths. Raising a baby is hard work. I've seen families of friends (and even stranger's families) have trouble even on their third child, because it was just the two of them trying to raise it.

There's a reason the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child" exists.

I wonder how she is... :)

Nellie wrote:Lol then don't put words in MY mouth

Are you now denying you said this?

Nellie wrote:I'm not even sure why people are jumping to the conclusion that her fiance isn't even helping?

It's not putting words in your mouth when it's commenting exactly on what you said. Only you and Ginelle said anything regarding that.

Everyone was saying they hoped she was getting help.
Suggesting she take turns with her fiance to sleep with the baby.
Things like that.

So I was wondering why people thought she wouldn't be doing that in the first place???
What are you reading Rz? lol

Kaiamond wrote:Only option is really to sleep when the baby sleeps... Though dunno how long that'll last. lol... hope she's getting help with the baby!

See?

EllyAngelYukizato wrote:Yeah you could take turns on waking up for the baby with the father or something.

What?
Why wouldn't she be doing that?

Do you not see why I was confused? lol
It's just some misunderstandings I guess.

Common sense says that of course the father is going to help raise the child if he's still in the picture. However, it's also considered the mother's job to raise the child herself in the states, and asking for help other than from the father is, from what I've seen, considered taboo; someone who asks for help is considered a "bad mother" and "doesn't deserve to have a child", simply because she's trying to raise it properly without destroying herself in the process.

Also, when a baby wakes up in the middle of the night, it's more likely to be because of hunger than anything else, meaning that unless she's raising her child on the bottle from day one, she has to get up each time. Newborns have to be fed approximately every two hours, sometimes more, so to suggest that a mother can let someone else feed an infant (again, unless the child is on the bottle instead of being breastfed) is something that just can't be done.

In addition, from what I've seen is that most mothers don't actually have complete knowledge of how to raise a child, especially if it's their first child. Learning from books and practicing on dolls is a good start, but it doesn't adequately prepare someone to care for a living, breathing child. The best way to learn is with experience, which comes from someone actively assisting you with your first child. I've seen so many families destroyed because the parents didn't have an adequate support network to help them care for the child. But again, from what I've seen, a mother (first time or not) asking for someone to help her is seemingly considered taboo here.

So of course it's normal to be concerned as to whether or not the mother is receiving enough help with raising her child. Again, there's meaning to the saying "It takes a village to raise a child."