Sunlight, I can empathize with you. My partner's family is very functional, very loving, very warm, healthy relationships every where you look - and mine is not. It's made me really gun-shy as far as marriage goes, and my partner is very patient with me on that front though he's made his intentions very clear, but I want to be mindful, because I know that one day may come when he's been as patient as he can be and I maybe haven't been as open-minded as I could be.

Memoriam - it's really late where I am and I know I don't know you, but your post caught my eye. It sounds like you really love him - no wonder it's getting to you. I think that having your week-long talk was one of the best things you could have done. The importance of open communication can't be understated.

I've got to call it a night - I finish uni tomorrow morning, and I'll catch you guys around, I'm sure.

Finally snagged Raine's MintCoco today!

@Sunlight: But you know you don't actually need to be married to be together, right? (*is what she also tells herself when she's overthinking marriage*) Is someone from your or your bf's family pushing you to do it? Also, you can always plan a small wedding, for the closets family and friend only, book a restaurant and voi la! That's what I'd love to do (since I have twisted family relations anyways and Ash almost has no family at all ). And the dress, well, you can wear whatever you want, it would be your day And if you feel kids would just chain you to your house and you don't want to be a houswife (unlike me, housewife + writing = dream life, lol I'm so simple), well, maybe you just don't want kids then It's really hard to figure out what we want, am I right? XD Generally it just sounds like you're super not ready for the big stuff and I can understand that. Whatever suits you for now

Lol, that must've been super freaky for you to hear such answer XD
Aww, that reminded me, Ash was having some issues with helicobacter if I recall correctly and we were on kind of a date and I wanted to kiss him, but he was like "nooo, I'll infect you with helicobacter!" and I was like "naaah, nothing will happen, just kiss me" XD He was so stubborn I had to kiss him, but still, I'm healthy to this day and he can't stop kissing me XD He was so worried ;___; Such a sweatheart.

Yeah, he moved from another school, and we were so into each other that we both failed the year XD And we just supported each other for the time, because it really brought us both down. Then his mom was getting sicker and sicker with her cancer until she eventually died, so this time I had to support him (not as in I felt obliged or something, it just felt right to support him then, only a total bitch wouldn't). And through such hardships we kinda never broke up. That is of course until he had nowhere to live and he lived with me... and showed my ugly monster face apparently #internalscream #Imastupididiot
2 years is still pretty impressive if you see other peple just breaking up in a month or so

Thank you! Pirk Chop sounds awesome, too!

That's an awesome idea, messing up animals is so fun XD

@Eaving: Aw, thank you, that's sweet of you to say! I really do love him and I'm glad we had that conversation (although he's really bad at them, he just can't open up and speak his mind That's why it took me a whole week to get information that he only wants to test living together for a few months, not years and I was like "oh, really? you couldn't just tell me sooner, before I had this nervous-breakdown-week? " #Ilovethatsonofagun). Now I'll just need some patience before we save up, find apartment, move out and start the freaking few months. I'll say we have about a year or two to get there #killmeplz Yeah, I need loads of patience now

Thanks for stopping by and I hope to see you around

And congrats! MintCoco is so cute!

Lol, highschool is love time apparently XD

I had to look up moochers XD Apparently that's my sister basically, if I understood correctly. Ahh, my parents are both drug (+ dad alcohol) addicts, but mom was conscious enough to kick dad out, divorce him and go to a therapy and she got me and my sister first to support groups, then my sister went thrugh a therapy for adult children of alcoholics. I never went, which is funny because I seem to be much smarter than my sister in those issues (and many more stuff but let's not talk about it #suchmodesty yet again, I sound so vain when I compare myself to my sister ). But still mom tried to get together with dad, even kicked him to therapy (he lasted three months, still proud of you dad )
Ash's step-dad has a way of speaking and moving agressively for my taste. He just speaks so loudly it's almost like screaming to me. He scares me
Ah, yeah, I get you want it to be special and out of his own will. I mean, I want it special too, but I'm frustrated lately XD And I know he wants it to be special too, so that's why no marriage for mortgage loan, or telling me how long he thought he wants to test me out when we finally live alone. He wants to surprise me... But yeah, he's so totally complicated, I sometimes wonder if maybe he's a girl or something, I always heard that women were difficult, not men, he confuses me
I just know he means well and I try not to overreact, cause I tend to, and he hates that >.>
Yaay! Height twins! XD
Yeah, you caught a key from me ;P
Your name's Amber, it's such a pretty name! I'm all jealous, I hate mine XD And I actually kinda like the name Grey. But there's no way they would let someone name their kid like the color in Poland. They don't even allow the best boy names Wilk and Lew (Wolf and Lion), maybe for middle names *cries internally* I know we have other names meaning lion, but the actual animal name sounds so awesome as a person's name
I think Ash liked Sandra the best for a girl. I would have to be on my laptop to be sure, I made a table with the names we liked (yeah, I'm that creepy) xD I'm not sure about Sandra anymore though...

Aw At least your grandma had some guts to fight for herself, mine is like "ooh, but I don't want to offend anyone" and I'm like "who cares, the people hurt you goddammit" Poor uncle! How serious is it?

I think my dad was in jail for a while... he was drug dealing or something, I dunno, I was super small, I found out years later and mom was never very talkative about it, so I don't ask. Dad also has trouble finding a steady job, I'm not sure what's the cause. I try not to think about it. I mean I love him, but I'm kind of ashamed for him.

Aw, that sucks You know what's annoying? When I'm in some shopping mall with Ash and he goes on dragging me to jewelry stores and asks what I like. It messes with my head, cause I know he's not going to propose anytime soon. Last time he made me try on several sizes of rings, to see what my size was (everything was too big, even the smallest one XD). Then that friend of his got married soon after that and I broke down and told Ash not to propose to me at least in three to six months, because I'll think he proposed because he felt sorry for me, which he was. He felt guilty for my breakdown and for not proposing to me sooner. And I was guilty for making him feel guilty. We're both super weird ;___; But I totally get what you mean.

Aaah, I feel you, I'm suffering my headaches this whole week! the weather is terrible (windy and cold as snowman's butt, and no snow! ), plus I had a wonderful migraine the night before my period came (not pregnant! happy-sad yay! ) so weather-menstrual cycle combo, wheee! No, Raine, no drawing for you! D: You a masochist or something? XD I take it you have commissions to do? Poor you *pats your head*

Yeah, it's cool, but only in English, and maybe in other languages, not in Polish, colors are mostly masculine or neutral gender
Yeah, in Poland you can't name your kid anything embarrassing and the authorities think naming your child after an animal can be offensive or embarrassing for a child. But come on! Russians and Ukrainians and probably other Slavians can name a boy Lev, why can't I? QAQ Also I really like old slavian name Milan, which would translate into "nice" but Ash says his first and only thought when hearing the name is the city or the soccer team (pfft, I just asked him and he was like whatever, I think I got him with "the beautiful old slavic name" xD)
The weird thing is, the fashion for older names came back, so we have lot's of little people with names good for grandpas or grandmas, it's so sad. The other tendency is the other way around, like American names with Polish letters, for a not so drastic example, Kevin and Kewin. The most drastic I've heard and can't stand is Jessica - Dżesika. It's just so... why, why are you doing this to your kids? And with Polish pronunciation it sounds so terrible and harsh and edgy and blargh X.X But that's because our linguists are super strict about keeping the language as pure as possible, so they don't want to allow people to use foreign names, especially if they have its equivalent in Polish, like Alexander and Aleksander. Unless one of the parents is a foreigner, then it will work with the foreign spelling and everything.
I'm pretty sure the officials would tell me to go love myself if they heard I want to name my son Szary (Grey).
And names like Prince/Princess? Haha, no way, not in Poland (not that I want to, just saying). Not even Angel. We have a name of the same meaning, but it's a name, Aniela, so in English it's Angela, there's no way you can name your kid after angel, plus it could only work for a boy I think, the word "anioł" itself is masculine gender in PL. I think in America it's rather a unisex name?
God, I could go on about names, I love names, I love names' meanings, I love it all *passes out* Again, your name's so pretty! In Poland there's no way to name your kid after jewels either. Plus they're all masculine gender and they don't really sound as nice as in English. Maybe Opal could work as unisex (I don't think we have any unisex names tho, they have to indicate child's gender apparently), but again, only with at least one foreign parent or a good explanation like "my grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-aunt's name was Opal" Official: Hmm, I sense bullshit but I can't prove it, so I guess that's okay. XD
So in conclusion, in Poland if you want to name your kid original/weird name, you gotta give good reason to the official.
I wrote my Bachelor's paper about Kipling's "Kim" and another novel, so when I hear/read Kim I'm like #internalscream #plznomore And then I go "Hey, Kim Possible! " XD And then I can go to contemplating the actual name you gave me and I think it's a nice name, but only as just Kim or Kimberly (that's the only one I know and feel comfortable with, lol)
Ah, I have a bad experience with Alice, it was the name of my childhood friend who was a royal bitch and hurt me as hell. I like the full name Alice, Alicja in PL, but people shorten it to Ala. And I hate it X.X The same's with Aleksandra, the full name is beautiful, but somehow people shorten it to Ola. #Idonteven
Violet is not only the color, but also a flower, so it's double cuteness
Sorry for the name rant, I love that topic *dies*

Eaving wrote:Sunlight, I can empathize with you. My partner's family is very functional, very loving, very warm, healthy relationships every where you look - and mine is not. It's made me really gun-shy as far as marriage goes, and my partner is very patient with me on that front though he's made his intentions very clear, but I want to be mindful, because I know that one day may come when he's been as patient as he can be and I maybe haven't been as open-minded as I could be.

Funny thing is, no one in my family's ever gone through divorce, being traditional Asian family, while my boyfriend's mom's divorced and living with her boyfriend. Not saying my family doesn't have any problem; I hate my uncle's wife because she hated my grandfather. But still, you know. I haven't been exposed to super bad relationships. Just super traditional relationships.

memoriam wrote:@Sunlight: But you know you don't actually need to be married to be together, right? (*is what she also tells herself when she's overthinking marriage*) Is someone from your or your bf's family pushing you to do it? Also, you can always plan a small wedding, for the closets family and friend only, book a restaurant and voi la! That's what I'd love to do (since I have twisted family relations anyways and Ash almost has no family at all ). And the dress, well, you can wear whatever you want, it would be your day And if you feel kids would just chain you to your house and you don't want to be a houswife (unlike me, housewife + writing = dream life, lol I'm so simple), well, maybe you just don't want kids then It's really hard to figure out what we want, am I right? XD Generally it just sounds like you're super not ready for the big stuff and I can understand that. Whatever suits you for now

It came out recently that boyfriend's super religious when it comes to things like that. So he doesn't want to do any of the... fun stuff I want to do until we get married. I mean, his body wants to. But his morality doesn't want to. And his mom's been pretty hinty. She got a wedding dress and tried to fob it on me for Hallowe'en, and when we threw boyfriend's brother and his fiancee a wedding shower boyfriend's mom came up to me and told me that she's ready for grandchildren. Like, what? I'm not the one getting married! Tell that to the one getting married! And since my family's in Korea, I don't think it'd be possible to have a small wedding.If I do have a wedding, grandma needs to be there. And I know what I want (or rather, don't want) but the problem is all these stuff I think boyfriend wants. And I feel guilty that I'm chaining him to me when I'm not willing to give him what he wants, but he doesn't want to break up with me and I don't want to break up with him either, which makes me feel like a horrible person.

Lol, that must've been super freaky for you to hear such answer XD

lol well, it wasn't too bad. I asked him out when I was a complete mess from my depression and he didn't want to feel like he was taking advantage of my vulnerable state.

Yeah, he moved from another school, and we were so into each other that we both failed the year XD And we just supported each other for the time, because it really brought us both down. Then his mom was getting sicker and sicker with her cancer until she eventually died, so this time I had to support him (not as in I felt obliged or something, it just felt right to support him then, only a total bitch wouldn't). And through such hardships we kinda never broke up. That is of course until he had nowhere to live and he lived with me... and showed my ugly monster face apparently #internalscream #Imastupididiot

See, that's also another thing. What if we get married and we don't like each other so much anymore when we start living together?

2 years is still pretty impressive if you see other peple just breaking up in a month or so

Thank you. But then there are people like you who push through years and years. #respect

That's an awesome idea, messing up animals is so fun XD

Right? Can't do that with children. Therapy is expensive.

Raine Seryn wrote:@ Sunlight- Yeah I've had my hair pretty short, like as short as my bangs, but only my bangs ever do anything weird. The rest is always straight no matter what. @_@ Sometimes I wonder if my bangs are just wavy looking because they're usually behind my ears and they're just used to being bent that way? XD My hair is kinda fine so it's got like no weight to it. =_=

Hmm. That could be it, then. Or maybe your hair on the front is more wavy than your back hair. I've known a girl who had super curly hair on top and straight hair on the bottom. She had to get her hair on the bottom cut shorter than the layer on the top or she'll have a weird afro-mullet.

Also, was your uncle sick for a long time? Maybe he's just grumpy because he's uncomfortable. Not an excuse or anything, but I do the same thing so I could understand it.

I envy you snow-less people. We've had snow since last week. The first day of snow I was waiting for the bus for half-an-hour and finally got through to the transit people and they were like, yeah, you're gonna have to wait another half-hour at LEAST so I decided to wait at home... and then a car sped by right next to me and splashed me with gross slush water from head to toe and it WENT INTO MY EYE! I was so disgusted that I just called in to work.

@Raine: The same way my sister and her fiance/later husband moved into grandma's/mom's (in 1/4 after grandpa's death) summer house, even tho they were to move in there only after the wedding, but they probably made up some story and she let them move in few months before, and they were complaining about everything (the house wasn't finished, still isn't) and even tho they only paid for the car gas they were demanding grandma and mom give them money for wood to warm the house or something. Plus this guy broke so many things in the house. I mean he punched a whole in one of the doors! New fraking door! And he broke the toilet seat, no idea how, but you apparently have to be very talented. And after mom and I told grandma that they abuse her hospitality and she really has to do something about it and she eventually kicked them out, giving them some time of course, they demanded financial compensation for the things they've "done and improved" and for "all the money they've put" in the house. And she paid, for her own peace of mind Now they are "divorcing" (not happening, but the show must go on I guess) and my sister is mentally killing grandma by just living with her. She's sucha parasite I can't even... Just no words. I can;t believe I was called the disgrace of the family. Just can't live it down. I should be laughing my ass off for being right, but it's just a cry-your-eyes-out situation.

Ah, yeah I get it. I'm not very close with family either so whenever I hear "the gossip" as we call it that somebody is sick (my grandma lives our family's lives, it's so sad), or things like "aunt Danuta broke her leg, she can't walk and her brother, uncle Józef has to take care of her blablabla" and I'm like "granny, that's the first time I've heard about those people, I don't know them, don't care " and instead of just not telling, she goes on explaining who those people are and how I met them when I was 3 yrs old She doesn't know when to stop.
I hate it when ppl are mean for no apparent reason. You have a problem with me, tell me, don't beat around the bush. Ppl are weird

Okay, so we're officially like headache-height-guilt-issues twins XD I constantyl feel the urge to apologize to people because of my ever-present guilt QuQ #killmeplz (I almost wrote quilt XD)

We had some beautiful snowy days lately, but now it all melted away and it's just super-duper cold and windy and wet, cause rain duh, it can't just snow in December, of course not, it must rain #sarcasmplz
Oh, wow, that's some unexpected expences! D: That reminds me I need to take my rat to the vet, there's something wrong again And I'm worried. Lately I've been obsessively talking about how rats live shortly and I don't want her to go so fast, Ash just called me crazy
I feel sorry for your hand hurting, at least the pain killers work. Seems like you're just super sensitive with weather, huh? It makes me wanna hug you for some reason xD #mentalhug

Well, it's not necessary if you just give your child a normal name, like let's say Anna. But when you want to name them, Idunno, Tangerine, then the official goes "lol nope" and you write your letter to the Polish Coucil for Names or however it translates (*works as translator in a company* lol) and aks their opinion. And since tangerine is a fruit, they're gonna be like "hoo, hmm, we do not recommend it blabla, may be reason for the child being laughed at and it can be offensive" or something like that. The same goes for animal related names, although I find them super powerful and beautiful. Maybe if you're lucky and the official is nice and tollerant then maybe you'll get to give your child a cool name without all the fuss. But yeah, it's still pretty limited. It's weird we can name a girl Jagoda (which is blueberry) and after several flowers, but you can't name a girl Truskawka (strawberry) or (Ash just read on the site of the Polish Name Council thing) Melisa, after the herb. Which would be a pretty nice name. Why accept Jagoda? Doesn't make any sense.
lmfao Hashtag, omfg XD
I'm writing a fanfiction somewhere on DA and the guy totally wants to name the girl Twilight, 'cause "Twilie! Dinner!" I just can't get it outta my head, Twilie just sounds so cute

I think everyone has that name that kinda follows them in life and just gathers negative connotations. I once heard all Sandras are total bitches. But the first (and only XD) Sandra I knew is smart, super nice and stylish and what not (I think second best student on our year) so yeah, someone was just unlucky with Sandras xD Bad people with always the same name is just an illusion, I always try to tell myself that when I see/hear the name Alice. I still shudder internally

I'm glad Sometimes I just can't shut up. I have no real life friends to talk to QuQ One bff, but we hardly see each other, work studies, all that crap ;P
P.S. Ash just read (yeah, he's still on the Name Council thing) someone wanted to name their daughter Atmosphere -.- #pplRweird lol

@Sunlight: I feel sorry for your bf to be mentally oppressed by religion. And I feel sorry for you, too, seems like a shitty situation to be in. I remember feeling very weird and uncomfortable when we were going back to Ash's home after his mom's funeral and his grandma (mom's mom) told me something like "last time I lost someone, my daughter soon gave birth to Ash's younger sis, so maybe now you will give me a grand-grandchild. Or maybe even twins." And she meant it. I was terrified @.@
But I'm sure you two will figure something out eventually, if you both don;t want to end the relationship, then it means you're far too important to each other to break up over something as "stupid" as religion/marriage/kids and others. I realize those are big things, hence the quotes, but I'm trying to say, just don't feel guilty or like a bad person. Enjoy your time with him and whatever happens it's worth it. It's always some experience in life

At least he didn't want to seem abusive, that's nice

Well, that's what I don't like about religion forbidding people to get to know each other completely before actually getting married. I don't think you can do anything about it really ;/ You may have some crisis but pull through and be stronger, or you'll divorce.

Thank you

Exactly XD (see the name rant somewhere above XD)

Ugh I don't like Twilie. It reminds me of this really bad fanfic called Twila the Girl who Fell in Love with a Vampire.

Aha ew that's so creepy, man!

I just feel like I'm wasting his time.

But I don't want to divorce. Marriages need to be serious. Too many people take it so lightly and divorce so easily. I mean, if it turns out that the other party is abusive, yeah, get yourself to safety. But don't divorce because you "don't love them anymore". Love doesn't stay the same. It cools. Hardly anyone feel the same way about their partner the way they did when they started dating. It's natural. And another reason why I don't want to marry. I don't want it to lead to divorce and I don't want to marry if the other party doesn't take it as seriously as I want to.