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xD I was pretty ho-y. But I don't regret having Ezra.
I regret who I made him with, but never Ezra lol.
Angel is getting marginally better.
After I literally left, I guess he decided it wasn't worth it
to lose me (8 I am pretty awesome. xD
He's better now with money management, he still needs
to work on his stupid temper. He literally gets mad about
the most idiotic things ever. And it always directly affects ME.
He always seems to care when Ezra is upset, but when
I'm upset he just continues to be an ass. What kind of logic is that?
You think a happy baby is enough? NO you need a happy wife, too.
How hard is it to NOT be a dickhead?
Although after living with his dad, I see where he inherited it from.
But he's an adult now. You can't just snap every time something
doesn't go your way or you get upset. Part of being a GROWN UP
is having self control.
I know. xD I have 0 mothering instinct yet I have a kid.
It comes as you grow. I was so worried I wouldn't be able to do
or know anything because I didn't care about anyone but me.
How can I raise a kid when I don't even know myself like that yet?
But from actually giving birth, to changing diapers and learning
to speak baby language, it all just came to me. And I definitely
overestimated the difficulty lol. I literally thought I would never
have time to do anything, my life would be nothing but diapers and poop
and screaming . . . but that's just not the case. I still have my life,
and I have a separate home life that involves Ezra and family.
Now I can leave, go to work, come back refreshed from not
being at home 24/7 . . . life is working out.
It was a lot harder, but I'm more persistent now.
I know what I want and I'm making moves to achieve.
I want to go to school, and I will. I want a better job, and
I'm finding one. Before, I wanted to go back to work, and I did.
I know my abilities (8 That makes it easier.