Aw thank you
I hope so too. I get that they're hostile because we're 'outsiders' and different from them, but I hope we can find a solution to all this.
Haha he doesn't look right through me. Because I already confessed to him
and he said he was isolated and not the right kind of guy for anyone to be with. Kindly worded rejection, lol.
But it's complicated because I can't talk to him because a) the group he's part of makes me feel alien and b) we're both equally, painfully shy. When I approach him, he seems to enjoy talking to me, but he doesn't approach me in return- he would if I approached him more, his treshold is just higher because of his shyness, but I can't because of a).
And that was actually one reason I confessed. I was hoping he'd say 'Let's get to know each other' and even if he didn't end up feeling the same way we'd still be friends, we'd have SOME relationship for crying out loud
But instead, he said what he said, and now it's even harder to approach him. (It sounds batshit crazy, that I found it easier to confess to him than to make friends with him...)
That night (of the day I confessed) he sent me a message saying he hadn't meant to hurt me in any way and was sorry if he had and that he didn't want things to get awkward between us because he thought I was really cool. Well that made me super happy, and I approached him once after that, talked to him and actually felt comfortable and happy talking to him, so that he'd see things needn't be awkward.
But he didn't approach me in return. And it's really difficult for me to approach him because of a), b) and because I think if he isn't approaching me, maybe he doesn't want to talk to me, in spite of what he messaged me.
He smiles at me whenever our eyes meet though. And he's usually the first to smile. (However it could be because if he waited for me to smile first and I waited for him to smile first and we passed each other by it would be really awkward.) That one acknowledgement I get from him means so much to me.
Okay, I've rambled on and on
I'm so sorry. There's a threadkillers' hangout, maybe this one should be a textwallers' hangout lol. We've had quite a few textwalls recently (personally I think we should be proud
).
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I've gone on several short hiatuses as well and I always come back here. It's a place that makes me feel peaceful 
imo try not to feel pressured to call your mom even if there is insistence, brushing it off is easier said than done, but nobody needs toxic people in their lives. And that someone would do that, actually denying the family your grandmother's ashes, it just decreases my faith in humanity 
holy grog, were those the two worst years of my life.
I hope you will be careful travelling down those roads. I'm sorry you're having to live near all that while you're in college. 
I hope you guys can get the supplies you need without having some sort of incident. 
And hopefully not make you more nervous.. 
