Yea.
One friend of mine is totally negative about it. He is of the opinion that we only think that we know what love is due to the media. They give us the cheesy version of love, one could say. But somehow the media have to have gotten all those ideas, right? Before depicting them they have to already be there, right? Or was is just imagination by the media because they thought people would like those romantic movies, showing that love is two-sided, only between two people, meaning to totally indulge in it, rely on the other person, be with the other person for the rest of our lives.
I do not know xD
But I think our concept of love is a bit of all that: our innate feelings we have since birth, what people tell us about it, what we learn about it from school/scientific articles, the media and by observation. And maybe also our wishes of love and being loved.
It's such a difficult subject I guess.

But does this mean I know when I find this one person I love? I always thought, for a particular period of time, I loved my ex-bf. And right now I am thinking whether I am falling in love with this one guy.. Or whether I love this other guy I know for a while now. But does the fact that I am only considering it, not really knowing it, mean, that I do not love them?

Well, there's not only the media, but we've got old tales and legends and things like that (what is full of drama queens lol XD). Besides, I think the problem with media is that it shows love is all roses and butterflies, but it really isn't, that's just the first infantuation phase. Actual love comes later.
I think maybe love is such a difficult subject and a thing to describe because it's more than just chemistry and biology, it's also spiritual to some extent. At least for me. But this:

LittleJulez wrote:And maybe also our wishes of love and being loved.

I think that one bit is enough.

Well, if you felt like you loved him, but it ended for some reason, maybe it was just a very strong and/or long-lasting infantuation. Or maybe one can fall in love more than once, because why not?
I do not think it means you do not love them necessarily. I think it may be a sign that you probably feel something that you can't quite name yet. It's definitely some attraction, but I'll bet for now it's just infantuation, because every love starts with that anyways ;) Love is a long process actually. So time will tell, maybe this time your feelings will stay put If stuff happen with any of those guys and after some time you wake up and "just know" then yeah

True, I forgot about that! Folk tales, obviously.
And yes, the first phase one starts with is all lovey-dovey, but - like you said - real love comes afterwards. This is only the beginning in which we get to know the person, know we like him/her, are attracted to him/her and are curious about him/her. There we do not get to see the flaws of the person that much. Or we probably already see them, but ignore them. Or one thinks that together we can solve and endure everything.
I've been there in all 3 relationships, that's for sure.
But I do not think I've gotten beyond this stage yet. I only realized that my feelings diminished, thus I felt less attracted, noticed the flaws and was annoyed by that person at some point until I couldn't bear it. With this I though my feelings had disappeared although they were probably never even there. As you called it the infantuation phase.
It was always like that for me.
Now I got to know this guy. I always thought he looked pretty friendly and nice, but I never really was sexually attracted to him, more like socially. But this changed as I got to know him better. Now I am curious about him in all kind of aspects. I wonder if I simply skipped the infantuation phase and if I am somewhere on stage 2 where I realize I still like this person, besides the flaws.
And like I said, the other guy, the one I know for over 1 year now, also falls into this category. He is special to me, I don't want to lose him, ever, in my life. I know that because I know him pretty well. But I know there won't be anything more than we have between us. So I guess I learned to live with the situation and forced myself not to have those strong feelings towards him which I had in the beginning so that now I am totally fine with our situation: good friends who have sex now and then. Who can meet face to face or part of a group. Who can relax or go out together.

I think it may be a sign that you probably feel something that you can't quite name yet.

This sounds applicable.. Maybe that's it.

Sorry, this subject is kinda deep, but these theme is on my mind for weeks..

I think there's not one way how love works or feels for everyone. I think it can be very different for different people, or even for the same person in different relationships.
I don't think that if a relationship ends it means you never really loved the person. I think you can fall in love deeply, but also fall out of it again, because people change. If your partner changes, of course you can embrace that and continue to love them, but it is not a given. I think the picture of "You find that one person that you truly love and then everything works miraculously and you'd never ever split up" is very rare in reality.
You find someone you love and then both you and them grow as persons and your relationship evolves and you have to talk about things and work on these changes happening in such a way that you stay compatible and still love each other. And maybe that is not possible, and then it is fine to conclude that you have loved each other for a time but grown into different people that don't fit together anymore. That doesn't negate the feelings you might have had for years.

I agree here as well.
As one might fall in love, one might also fall out of it again... True..
I wish there would be a book called "the book of love - a guide how to truly love and be loved".. But life has to be full of curious adventures, right :D?

Yes, it has to be! How boring would it be to love after a textbook ;)
But also, I think writing that book would just be an impossible task :D Unless it's gonna be a fraud. :D

*imagines the book of love* *ROFLs*


I hate my avi, I can't put anything together ;___;

Are you kidding me, your avi(s) are gorgeous! I always feel like a noob next to you guys ._.

I forgot my charger kable at home :___: I am left with 19% and I have to read so many things for uni >.< (online of course)

I'm not kidding you, I seriously don't feel satisfied with anything since yesterday. I'm not happy with what I'm wearing now, it's like an avi-block "orz

Oh no! Doesn't anyone have similar or charger so you can borrow it?

Oh no, Julez, it's always horrible when that happens :( Hope you can find someone to borrow you a charger!

mem, I think your current one looks quite nice. I'd just add a border in the pink you have in the flower and the horns maybe? I feel like that might tie it together more.