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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 14:16    
jacobgrey

jacobgrey

Joined: Jun 27th, '10, 20:26
Posts: 10677
Hugs: 153636
Mood: (◡‿◡)
Website: http://www.rhiannondaverc.co.uk
Location: England
Moving is hard. We also decided maybe 6 months ago that we want to move because our upstairs neighbour is so loud all the time. Not having an upstairs neighbour at all would be the best thing. We haven't even had time to look properly between us yet. We need to organise a valuation too as we don't even know what our real price range will be since we don't know the current value of our flat.


Some positive stuff: I've been busy with great things lately. My magazine is really taking off, and I'm having meetings with important people as well as setting up features and shoots, so that's fun. I also published a book under my own name, a true crime novel about the serial killer Dennis Nilsen. Beyond that I also picked up a 3-book publishing deal with a publishing house for my pseudonym, and the first book came out last month, so now I'm writing the second. All in all this explains why I haven't been as frequently posting as before :mcheh:

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First fairy 8.4.15; 2nd 7.6.17
My books ~*~ My magazine

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 14:31    
Firn

Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385749
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
jacob, that sounds so awesome! I am a bit jelous, it seems like everything is going so well for you. You could give me some of your luck, you seem to have more than enough and I seem not have none. :qwhee:
I am sure you will also find a great new apartment! The good thing is that, while a loud neighbor is annoying, it's not really such an urgent matter and you can take your time finding a new apartment! But you should also consider that, if you don't have any neighbors above you, it usually means you have higher costs for heating. Not sure whether that matters to you, as money doesn't seem a big issue in your case, but at least for us that is something we always have to consider - first floor and last floor appartmenst are usually more expensive because of that. Like, today I saw an ad for an apartment in the same building where we applied for the nice apartment last week. It's only 4qm bigger than the other one, but the heating costs are almost 50% more expensive and the total rent is therefore more than we can afford. :mcsad:

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 14:39    
Lady River

Lady River

Joined: Feb 5th, '12, 06:52
Posts: 13350
Hugs: 178811
Mood: Not okay
Location: Australia
That really sucks :( I hope you do find something soon and get approved.

I'd cry too :( :qh: :qh: :qh: I kind of know how you feel though for me it's job hunting not place to live hunting.

We aren't allowed pets where I live :( I really want a cat, sometimes I think it would be good for me with my anxiety and stuff. But I've told myself I can't till I can get a job, even if that job is a few days work. Just need a job.


Yeah though I put off going to tafe for..many years. It's like only now am I listening to advice my fiance has given to me =/ I guess iono, I know I have issues on being told what to do.. (tbh I think my family is a bit....ehh...iono.. not normal).

Buut I'm excited to do it. I really do hope the teacher does get to teach us some about robotics and 3D printing.

Eastasian art history sounds interesting though. Can you study something else? Is studying in Germany expensive?

I'm hoping to get a mental health plan done by my GP that should help us out with paying for the course.

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Peter is my fiance
Image
Formerly Kaelin
[♥]My Selling thread[♥]
[♥][My Buying thread][♥]
ImageImage Image
[♥]My knuffel thread[♥]
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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 14:50    
Firn

Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385749
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
I guess job hunting sucks just as much. But once you have your degree, it will go much easier, because that's something that is really in demand. Like with starkas who has a degree in information technology - He never has trouble finding a job, because his skills are so in demand. Right now he even has two jobs, because otherwise we could not pay the rent. (Well, it sucks that he has to have two jobs, but what I am trying to say is that he doesn't have any difficulties finding something)

Studying in Germany isn't expensive, depending on what you want to study. Unfortunately all the things I am interested in (or all the things that seem useful), like graphic design, illustrating, etc. are things the university here does not offer, so my only options would be to do a distance study at a private university. And they usually have fees of 10000€+. And since we cannot even pay for our rent, I guess it is needless to say that this is not an option.

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 14:57    
Lady River

Lady River

Joined: Feb 5th, '12, 06:52
Posts: 13350
Hugs: 178811
Mood: Not okay
Location: Australia
I hope it'll be easier but I live rather rural so I think it'll still be a bit hard.

:( it's a shame that like kofk can't help you get a job in that the skills you use for this site to make it be what it is. I know that Starkas does a lot of it but you also do, especially the artwork. I mean it's no easy task at all and I admire your art. The custom knuffels <3 they're a fave of mine.

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Peter is my fiance
Image
Formerly Kaelin
[♥]My Selling thread[♥]
[♥][My Buying thread][♥]
ImageImage Image
[♥]My knuffel thread[♥]
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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 15:13    
Firn

Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385749
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
I guess living rural can make things harder, but we live quite rural too (I guess this is as rural as it gets) and starkad drives by train to the next town for his job. I don't think there are many jobs available for him here. Actually, there are no jobs available for anyone here. I know, i've looked, because I was seraching for a minijob to help out with our financial situation too, and I could not find anything, I think apart from nurse for the elderly. There seems to be a high demand for that here.

Yeah, I actually often wish that what I do for KOfK would be enough to show I have some basic skills and that it would help me finding a job where someone would actually pay me for pretty much what I already do here. But I guess people still want to see a degree. And there are some skills that are usually required for things like graphic design that I just don't have, like for example making vector graphics. I should really try to figure that one out some day...

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 15:22    
Lady River

Lady River

Joined: Feb 5th, '12, 06:52
Posts: 13350
Hugs: 178811
Mood: Not okay
Location: Australia
There are some jobs here but my mental health needs help first. Also I have no referees here really yet but I hope the Tafe and my volunteering at the library can help change both a bit.

There's a high demand for nurses for elderly here too. It's...not for me.

And yet when one gets such a degree they're deemed overqualified. It's baffling.

Ohh I don't know how to do vectors either :( I tried learning by tutorials but I felt it wasn't for me though who knows maybe I will learn it. I hope that after I have this certificate to do the certificate 3 next year if I enjoy the 2.

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Peter is my fiance
Image
Formerly Kaelin
[♥]My Selling thread[♥]
[♥][My Buying thread][♥]
ImageImage Image
[♥]My knuffel thread[♥]
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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 29th, '18, 19:27    
jacobgrey

jacobgrey

Joined: Jun 27th, '10, 20:26
Posts: 10677
Hugs: 153636
Mood: (◡‿◡)
Website: http://www.rhiannondaverc.co.uk
Location: England
@Firn I wouldn't say I have good luck, I just worked very hard for... well, over five years now that I haven't really taken a break XD I've worked on holiday, I've worked evenings and weekends, I've skipped lunch, showers, even getting dressed just to squeeze in a bit more work. I didn't really see any results until recently, and just had to keep going and believing it would work out. Now it's paying off, but to maintain the momentum, things are getting even busier XD

I don't know, I feel like the noise is getting really urgent. It's all the time and I can barely hear myself think or get to sleep. I'm here all day most of the time so I just hear it constantly, grating on my nerves and stressing me out. We even have to play the sound of waves in our bedroom all night to try to drown it out.

We're going for a detached house rather than a flat next time I think, if we can find it. We'll have to sacrifice being in the middle of town in order to get something the right size, so after losing some value from the property we should be able to make costs work out the same. Money is still somewhat of an issue for us, being an artist always means not earning as much as people probably expect I guess XD Especially as we want to save up for a family, but with setting aside working time to get the magazine to a profitable status, I didn't have any spare money to put into savings for a while.

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First fairy 8.4.15; 2nd 7.6.17
My books ~*~ My magazine

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 30th, '18, 08:50    
Firn

Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385749
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
Jacob, I am sure you worked hard for your achievements. But doesn't mean that luck wasn't also involved. Because me and starkad work hard too, we have no free weekends too, no days off, starkad even has two jobs currently, we worked hard on our university degrees, hell, I have been unloading trucks at 5am in the morning just to pay for university, then had to sit through my courses half dead of fatigue, get back home to study till night, starkad has 3 degrees - and we are still piss poor, have no achievements to show for and are basically homeless.
So, yeah, not wanting to discredit your hard work, without it you would absolutely not be where you are. Luck alone without hard work would not have gotten you there.
But I really dislike this whole "if you only work hard for your dreams you can achieve anything"-mentality. That's usually something people say who have worked hard and achieved their dreams - But there are just as many people who have worked hard and have achieved absoutely nothing. Hard work is not always rewarded. Take a look at this community for example: Almost every single minute of our free time goes into this. I have been working on this for over 10 years and look at the state the site is in - The more work I put into it, the more it goes downhill. The only reason I haven't given up on this yet, despite only so few people still caring about this site, is because it would mean over 10 years of hard work would have been for nothing. If this site was in any way a representation of the hard work we have put into this, it would be super successfull, blooming with activity and bringin in lots of donations. But it is not. Hard work does not always pay off. :qcry: You also need some luck. Need to be in the right place at the right time, meet the right people.

Actually a while ago I read a very interesting case study about this concept: That people, mostly people who are good off, have a hard time believing that your situation in life is in a great part due to luck or bad luck, and that people have a hard time believing that the world is just injustice. So people tend to believe that, if someone is in a bad situation, it is motsly due to their own actions. Because they did something wrong, or did not work hard enough (A good example of this is "victim shaming", like, believeing a woman was raped, because she wore a short skirt or walked down the wrong way at dark, so it was basically her own fault). Apparently the reason behind this is simply that, if people accpeted that the world is injustice, they would need to live in constant fear that they could get into a bad situation themselves. So they deny that luck plays a role in their situation. The article about this was in German, but I will see whether I can find a English text about it. It's certainly worth reading.

Edit: There are actually plenty of articles about it, it's called "just world hypothesis": https://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/j ... ypothesis/

And here is a pretty good more detailed article about it: https://hazlitt.net/blog/monstrous-cruelty-just-world

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 30th, '18, 12:02    
memoriam

memoriam

Joined: Feb 14th, '11, 01:50
Posts: 19445
Hugs: 262424
Mood: Mood.
Location: Poland; in my bubble.
First of all *hugs Firn*
I get you, I believe my mom is in a similar situation. She's been working hard all her life and it's still not paying off at all. You could easily blame it on her, like it was her desicion to follow her passion instead of listening to her father and study accounting or stuff. And I know she blames herself for that, that she did the studies too late. Now she's failed in her passion that was sewing and designing clothes, and also a failed accountant with a degree but without any job experience. Simply because she was too old to qualify for any internships financed by the government. And no one ever wanted to hire her without experience, even on internships (from the companies, not financed by the Gov).
No wonder she's depressed :mcgloom:

Second of all, I read the articles. The detailed one completely blew my mind, not because it shattered my beliefs in a just world, but because I realized I don't believe in it, so I'm more like... why should I bother? I'm more likely to fail than succeed, even with all the hard work I put into things. Statistically there are more people who fail at reaching their dreams than people who succeeded. That's probably why I have no motivation.
Plus I have anxiety, which doesn't help, I'm terrified of failing anyways. So my irrational fear of failure combined with the belief in the world full of injustice leads me to subconsciously (up until now, until I realized it) sabotage myself with procrastination. I don't try anymore because I believe I will most probably fail anyway.
I have low self-esteem, I'm between jobs, I think I'm completely usless by now. Yay me and my brain.
But one thing should and I hope will help me get back on track with things. If I won't do anything to try to achieve my dreams then I'll be a bitter old cat lady without anyone and without any achievements. And I'll regret not trying eventually. Yes, I'm trying to motivate myself right this moment, it's pathetic :mcargh: XD

Fun fact, I dreamed about octopuses last night and I'm like wth, why octopuses? So I searched it in an on-line dream-book. Apparently octopuses in dreams stand for irrational fears. Nailed that one like a Sir, am I right? XD

So in conclusion, the article made me realize just how and why I'm as unmotivated as I am.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go continue my job search, then maybe try other important stuff I should do... and it's Wednesday already :mccry: :mccry: :mccry:

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