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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 2nd, '19, 22:24 |
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Akili Li
Joined: Nov 24th, '15, 22:02
Posts: 21901
Hugs: 292969
Mood: contemplative
Location: Buried under the To-Do list
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I'm so sorry to hear about D! That is such a difficult thing for everyone around the person who is gone.
(Or, I don't know your specific local culture's regards to death/grief/suicide, maybe you have a healthier environment for that where you are. Here, there's a funny thing going where it's not at all socially acceptable to be angry or mad at the person who is dead -I think it stems from how they can't defend themselves as they're gone- and of course in any suicide there's usually a lot of anger that will flare up now and then, and then there's no healthy way to express it without it getting blown out of proportion and meaning more than it does, and it just... it gets even messier than grieving already is.
Oh dear, that sounded so garbled.
I guess it boils down to, I hope that everyone D left behind has the support they need. It was just phrased poorly)
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I want to buy or trade for these knuffels:
Earth Gen 18, Light Gen 19, Fire Gen 21, Air/Light/Water Gen 22, Light Gen 23, Earth/Light Gen 25, Darkness Gen 26.
Please PM me if you can help!
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 2nd, '19, 23:34 |
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jacobgrey
Joined: Jun 27th, '10, 20:26
Posts: 10677
Hugs: 155855
Mood: (◡‿◡)
Website: http://www.rhiannondaverc.co.uk
Location: England
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It was kinda difficult. Moreso for the fact that we had lost touch with him over the past few years, so we had a bit of guilt over the fact that we weren't there for him. It was super sad though, because his partner then killed herself as well a few days later. She had two kids from a past relationship which she left behind. So it's all a complete mess, really.
I am totally all for being pissed at people who kill themselves, because it's a really selfish thing to do. In D's case it was different, though. He'd been on a lot of drugs from even before I knew him, and even though I think he had cut back to just smoking weed for several years, it did a lot of damage to his brain and his psyche. He was completely delusional and he basically believed that aliens were hunting him and they were trying to take his soul or something. So in a twisted way he believed he was saving himself, or it was the only way he could escape, or some kind of logic like that. It's such a shame that no one got him any help. He was kind of screwed up when we knew him but we were under the impression that he was doing better, he'd been through rehab and stuff. I guess no one got him actual psychiatric care though.
And it all played out in the fact that J posting on Facebook about having been to the funeral then lead to a whole ton of D's friends messaging him to ask what had happened, because D's family hadn't even told nearly anyone. The only reason J knew is because they used to be in a band together in high school. But people who were even closer friends with D, and more recently, had no clue anything had happened. Kind of suggests that his family weren't exactly paying much attention to him over the last ten years or so, if the only people they could think to contact were his high school friends. Then of course J had to deal with explaining over and over again, which hit him pretty hard.
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 2nd, '19, 23:42 |
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Akili Li
Joined: Nov 24th, '15, 22:02
Posts: 21901
Hugs: 292969
Mood: contemplative
Location: Buried under the To-Do list
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Oh, that is so rough, I'm so sorry. I hope those poor kids had some relatives on one side or another who can give them a good home. Leaving kids behind, that's just... messy doesn't cover it. Although, if she's the sort of person to leave them like that, maybe it's not so terrible that they'll be exposed to a new, hopefully better rolemodel growing up, because that's not really the sort of thing you ever want to see passed on to new generations. I REALLY hope that at least they are getting the kind of psychiatric help that D and his partner didn't get.
Being the bearer of news like that is rough, too. Did J end up writing it all up and posting it somewhere he could just refer people to, or did he try and do it the hard way and respond to all those messages individually? I admire the latter approach's individual touch, but I don't think I'd have the emotional strength to do it!
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I want to buy or trade for these knuffels:
Earth Gen 18, Light Gen 19, Fire Gen 21, Air/Light/Water Gen 22, Light Gen 23, Earth/Light Gen 25, Darkness Gen 26.
Please PM me if you can help!
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 3rd, '19, 04:16 |
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Nankuii
Joined: Jul 17th, '12, 05:06
Posts: 18704
Hugs: 328505
Mood: que sera sera
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 3rd, '19, 13:06 |
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Chrizine
Joined: May 1st, '14, 21:58
Posts: 7506
Hugs: 130118
Mood: Elusive Crumpet
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Understandable :) You'll figure it out once the time comes (at least that's what I tell myself, too :P).
jacob, that does sound like a huge painful mess :(
I, too, hope the children are receiving all the support they need.
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My personal Quest thread:
And my buying thread!
My crafty hangout thread, where I talk about my sewing and crocheting projects and would love to hear about any kind of projects you do (or just come chat, that's fine too!):
Most urgent wishes currently:
    
Ehlenia Eyes (Aqua), Eyrion Fan (Claret), Jiniri Hair (Mocha), Lunar Night Banshee Hair (Blue White), Bat Momma Eyes (Ecru)
Check out jacobgrey's awesome interactive Harry Potter Fanfiction thread!
I'm on Flight Rising and Tattered Weave as well- feel free to friend me!
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 3rd, '19, 18:02 |
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 4th, '19, 08:06 |
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Nankuii
Joined: Jul 17th, '12, 05:06
Posts: 18704
Hugs: 328505
Mood: que sera sera
Location: Home
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 4th, '19, 12:53 |
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jacobgrey
Joined: Jun 27th, '10, 20:26
Posts: 10677
Hugs: 155855
Mood: (◡‿◡)
Website: http://www.rhiannondaverc.co.uk
Location: England
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The one thing that came out of this is me and J having a horror story to tell our kids so they won't get tempted lol.
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 4th, '19, 13:20 |
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Chrizine
Joined: May 1st, '14, 21:58
Posts: 7506
Hugs: 130118
Mood: Elusive Crumpet
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Post subject: Re: Candy Caravan Chat Posted: Feb 7th, '19, 12:23 |
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Myste
Joined: May 17th, '09, 18:25
Posts: 5467
Hugs: 58483
Location: My Own Reality
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He's ba-a-ack.
Good, I can finish picking up the extensions.
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Even if it doesn't kill you or get you in trouble while you're doing it, there can still be consequences.
