@Moi: Haha, dads. They always talk themselves out of trouble xD
Oh nooo, I know that feeling! I had a lop bunny once, he was super chill (although either in love or just really sexually into my sister's cat, lol). One day I was hanging out my laundry and I heard this thud in his cage, though he'd just kicked his foot or something. I still checked on him to be sure and he was already dead. It was probably heart but dang it, so sudden I balled my eyes out, he ws literally alive just seconds ago!
And my first pet rat also left suddenly. We castrated her too late and she was having health issues ever since, internal bleeding, had to euthanize her. I was not prepared at all.
Ugh, come to think of it many of my pets have died suddenly. Only a few that I could prepare myself to say goodbye. My mom's dog had some cancer thing and she passed away a week before she could get treatment. And my sister's cat was about 20 years old, blind and deaf (and starved if you asked me, she should've let him go earlier...), so I knew it won't be long.
@Luna: But do you miss your parents or the financial benefits? It might be easier financially but sometimes it's not worth it mentally. That's why I'm moving out. Have you talked about it with your SO?
@jacob: Haha, that reminds me sometime this month a colleague caught me on the way home and was really not sensitive about me losing my rats (he didn't say he was sorry, just kept asking about things like "do you breed them or something?") and when he told me he'd never had any pets in childhood and his current dog is his first ever pet I told him he's fucked up XD
I mean, not even a fish, come on! His parents are monsters and now he's an insensitive jerk in conversations about recently deceased pets! (I know I'm being judgemental as hell, sorry-not-sorry, kids should be raised with pets, change my mind, I dare you) I made it seem like a joke tho and he laughed (awkwardly, lol)
Not saying you're fucked up, you at least had a fish and a rabbit, so that's more than he's ever had XD
Oh, believe me, I've been there. Maybe it's just me but somehow I always come back to the way of thinking and hoping maybe they've already changed, things have been so good lately etc... It's better to stop wishing they changed and just accept they're probably never going to. I think I've learned now but I fear I'll get back to hoping for their improvement really quickly. While I should be trying to improve myself and not look back at them. Hoping they'd change always ends up for me in hoping to get them back in my life. I do hope you're not like me, 'cause I'm a total sucker and I fall for every little mind game even though I know Ash is right when he warns me saying "careful, it's a trap, go in at your own risk!".
It's especially easy to go back to hope if the contact is not completely off. I'm not sure if I can even do that tbh. I might still do some phone contact at least. It's so hard to cut people off :(
btw, I have no idea what to do about my Fridays with mom and I'm getting stressed just thinking about it. Two days ago I texted her I'm not gonna come this Friday and she sent back something along the lines of: "I figured, although I hoped you would cool off by then and we could have an honest talk, see you, xoxo" and I'm like... wtf, she was the one to make a scene the next day when I told her I need time to think about stuff and she tells ME to cool off? XD She acts so mature on the "paper" yet she's so childish in person. I don't think I can handle talking to her in person, when she gets emotional I do too and then suddenly we're both yelling at one another.
I also have no idea how to tell granny we're going to move out soon. She'll probably guilt trip me. that's also expected of my mother.
I'm reconsidering writing a note to all three of them (granny, mom, sister) actually apologizing for my behaviour on Sunday (because that's the most mature thing I can do despite the fact it'll turn on me anyways but at least I'll do as my conscience dictates me, if I don't make that apology I'll feel like I've left some unfinished business here) but I would also include short explanation to why I acted that way and tell them off in a polite and official way. Not too long though, it's pointless, they probably won't even understand that note.
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