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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Nov 2nd, '20, 21:56 |
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Bramblelegs
Joined: Jun 17th, '09, 19:42 Posts: 756 Hugs: 30117 Mood: bonk
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Lately my younger brother has been on a mind a lot. He passed away in 2016 in a car accident. i don't think i've ever really had the chance to grieve for him. So whenever i have thoughts of him, his memory, or things that might be connected to him it sends me for a pretty deep spiral. I tried watching a scary paranormal TV show, i didn't know the plotline at all but it dealt with the death of several siblings in the family. One of them was a mortician and she was processing the body of one of her younger siblings. I never thought i'd have a trigger, but i clearly do. All i could think of my memory of seeing my brother on a coroners table on the other side of a glass window. I can remember so clearly what he looked like, he looked alive enough that he could sit up and laugh at me as if it was all a joke but dead enough that something was unsettling. I can remember so clearly seeing my brother in his casket, feeling cold and with skin painted such a strange pallor that it wasn't what he looked like alive. With area's of his face not as filled out and sunken in all the wrong places. Truthfully the worst was seeing just how still he was because my brother was someone who never stopped moving and fidgeting in life. I've offhandedly thought about little things that would've made him laugh, different types of cars that were his favorite, memories of things we'd done together as kids, and songs that he used to sing. I miss him so much. When he died one of the scariest thoughts i had was that he would forever be 17 and every year i would grow older without him. If i have kids someday, they'll never know him. And when i find a partner in life they'll never meet my brother. My family is small, it's just my dad and me. And as much as i know he loves me, i will never be his son. Father's love their daughters, but they often have trouble understanding them, and i really see this with my dad. I miss my brother.
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Nov 12th, '20, 19:13 |
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Zupprika
Joined: Aug 17th, '11, 23:24 Posts: 6751 Hugs: 181215 Mood: tired
Location: Europe
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 1st, '20, 03:13 |
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AutobotDen
Joined: Apr 28th, '12, 07:41 Posts: 1696 Hugs: 19289 Mood: Wear a mask, Save Lives!
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You may not think I need to get tested, but fuck you. you're the one who went to an event with someone who tested positive. I'm doing this not only for my own peace of mind, but also because my boyfriend's mom asked if I would. And since I respect her more than I do you, I'm going to get tested.
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 11th, '20, 22:21 |
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Fire
Joined: May 31st, '09, 14:54 Posts: 5457 Hugs: 96675 Mood: Radi radi! Happy Holi!
Location: Wherever the wind takes me...
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Spoiler I'm so fucking sick of this shit. I'm so sick of this whole fucking shitty system. I try, and try, and try. I carve chunks out of myself, every fucking day, and for what?? Nothing's changed! Nothing's gotten better! There's no fucking end to this. No solution to strive for. I get to bleed myself fucking dry, until it fucking kills me. There's no fucking point. I'm done. I've given all I've got. It's over.
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☾⋆✳⋆★⋆✧⋆╰☆╮⋆✦⋆✩⋆✳⋆☽
✦✰★✧x ✦✰★✧21x Groundsel✦✰★✧x ✦✰★✧
☾⋆✳⋆★⋆✧⋆╰☆╮⋆✦⋆✩⋆✳⋆☽
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 12th, '20, 08:00 |
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AutobotDen
Joined: Apr 28th, '12, 07:41 Posts: 1696 Hugs: 19289 Mood: Wear a mask, Save Lives!
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I know you and I have good communication, but still, deep down inside, I wonder if I'm really good enough for you, and I worry that someday, you'll get bored of me and leave me.
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 17th, '20, 08:33 |
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Sunlight
Joined: Mar 5th, '12, 03:50 Posts: 3763 Hugs: 119764 Mood: Reflective
Website: http://kofk.de/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=13052
Location: Within the Looking Glass
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Jan 15th, '21, 20:07 |
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Alith Anar
Joined: May 9th, '10, 19:29 Posts: 434 Hugs: 8348 Mood: Tired... *yawn*
Website: http://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/MissMoonshinesMakes
Location: England
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Jan 19th, '21, 02:38 |
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AutobotDen
Joined: Apr 28th, '12, 07:41 Posts: 1696 Hugs: 19289 Mood: Wear a mask, Save Lives!
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You wanna be passive-aggressive? Fine. I can play that game JUST as well as you. You want me to do chores? Fucking pay me what I'm owed.
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Jan 24th, '21, 19:39 |
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chuunibyou
Joined: Feb 6th, '15, 19:16 Posts: 6030 Hugs: 105452 Mood: spiritual
Location: a remote internet isle
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It would be nice if I didn't get anxious every time I have to do an assignment and spiral about how I won't be able to finish it and then I won't meet course requirements and then I won't graduate... I have only a semester left and yet I can't remember how I managed to pass all the previous semesters.
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Come chat with me at my hangout thread!
Stroctoperry wrote:Because KofK trumps homework, for some reason.
Death Candy wrote:I just realized that "take out" means food, dating, and murder. And if you were a female praying mantis you'd have all three.
Akili Li wrote:People talk about bravery in these super dramatic terms like it only applies to soldiers going to war, but for all that I think true courage is found in the hard every day moments of social interaction and standing up for what you believe in even when it's not life-or-death, when it's instead a matter of approval-or-ostracization among people whose opinions you care about. That's harder, to my mind. That's an ongoing, you have to live with it forever thing, instead of one single moment that's the exception instead of the rule.
First fairy found 28th May 2015
Second fairy found 11th May 2017
Third fairy found 9th Jan 2024
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Jan 29th, '21, 18:27 |
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CycloneKira
Joined: May 8th, '14, 13:36 Posts: 1761 Hugs: 41045 Mood: I'm trying.
Website: http://kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/
Location: On a rooftop somewhere
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Family therapy? Really? That's a fucking joke. Family therapy works for people who actually want to listen to each other and understand each other. You guys just want to shove your opinions down my throat.
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It's not over yet.
There's a lot to look forward to.
Keep going.
You can do this :)
Leonard Snart wrote:There are only four rules you have to remember: Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.
1st fairy - June 3rd, 12:06 AM IST
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[ 2490 posts ] |
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