Ah yes. >A< its gonna be a hard transition .. ahhh... see I already forgot QAQ

Last night I heard a remix of gackts "Redemption" song.. apparently this series of remixes came out in 2015.. I went looking for it.. could.. not.. FIND IT..

.... I already had it downloaded and never knew >->, wasted hours looking for something I already had...


Wanted to use one of HYDE's songs for the tiktok vid of me releasing the plecos into the tank (Fake Divine) and I found it... but.. it was only 30 seconds long and vid was over 1 minute and tiktok wouldn't allow me to use it. >:x its called LOOP THE SONG CLIP DAMN IT! D:<

I wanted that song because the clip had "Will I be forced away, will I be faded out to nothing. I'm fighting to stay, I'm fighting to stay" ... and the plecos did NOT want to leave their specimen container so they were fighting to stay... it was such a perfect match >A<


oh! https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdXcSLnr/

for anyone who wants to see the soundless video (mom was talking about pillz even though i told her to be quite before i started recording, and motioned for her to SHHHH several times through out... =A=

I then tried to see if there were any Utada Hikaru songs I could use.. nope, also all 30s Mai Kuraki... nope 30-45s.. =A= NO ONE HAD SONGS FOR OVER A MINUTE!

When one friend I had decided to be a man, I was hurt because the person totally changed everything, and never told me, just sold the doll I'd bought (and starved to buy) for the person for money for the surgery, and then stopped talking to me. It felt like my friend had died, and I was really sad. Does that make me evil?

That doesn't make you evil.

I too had a friend that decided they wanted to be the opposite gender. They changed completely. Stopped liking the stuff they use to like because it was too 'boyish' and even went for a different career because becoming a game designer/coder wasn't feminine. Like... what?

We connected through games, after they started their transition, it was more about making and boys and her whining about never being able to have babies of her own.

My friend was no longer the person they use to be. Instead it was like someone body snatched them or something. They were a completely different person.


Some people manage to keep their original personality, but others lose it and become someone else completely. I think its how they were raised? Not sure. My friend's dad was always against Trans people and was homophobic as well, the whole family was but not as much as the father. So my friend's whole life, hid their true self/desires and such... and when they were free and able to become their true self, we lost the version we knew.

*hug for DK* Okay, good.

I mean, other than that, or if they get all up in my face about it, people are people. I know a young man at work who looks a heck of a lot like a girl, but George is totally awesome. Campy "Oh Darling!" gay men can sketch me out just with the personality, but I think everyone of them I've met personally has been kindly and helpful.

Moi: the remix is pretty good. I'm picky about remixes. Some sound dreadful. >A<

Tiktok is.. blaah.. Not really a fan of it. The browser version doesn't even give you options to mute audio or add music or stickers or all the other crap the app does. I've animal vids I wanna post that are on my PC! >;x


Tam: I always thought those stereotype gay males on tv were just TV tropes, that they didn't actually exist. How they acted confused me. The way they talked, walked, dressed, acted.. It just screamed trans more than gay to me, so like.. fake tv gay. All of my gay guy friends in highschool and other's I had met never acted like this. Heck.. my exboyfriend who came out as gay doesn't act like this. (I love claiming I turned him gay with all my BL/Yaoi anime and manga xD)

Then I actually met one. The tv stereotype gay male. I didn't know what to think. He was just like the way they were on tv. All the way down to the entitled bossy attitude, "Oh honey, you can't do it that way." "You need to do things my way because my way is right!" and if we didn't do things his way, he'd say we were discriminating against him. Those stereotypes scare me

Wow. O_O The two campy diva boys I've met weren't manipulative like that. Though now that I've remembered I've met two, one was an idiot (I think he'd just fried his brains with drugs, he was a raver, and in a psychiatric group home that I lived in once). But the other was chatty and happy and kind. He seemed kind of glad for a friendly conversation on the way home from work.

He was terrible.. Even made fun of the way I spoke, as my grammar isn't 'correct grammar' and such. Always had to correct me and poked fun at it. I stopped talking to him and gaming with him and his boyfriend not long after that started.