Kingdom of Knuffel

Sure, I don't know them, they may still make bad parenting decisions in all kinds of ways. And if you say she's a selfish person in general, I can understand a bit better why her choosing to go for her career seems like a selfish thing as well to you.
It just seemed a bit like you were saying that once a woman has kids, of course she should be the one to stay at home and that should be her top priority and that is a view I very much not agree with. Sorry if I came across very confrontational about the issue

Lol, don't worry you didn't come accross like that
And of course I didn't mean to sound like I'm the kind who thinks women are only good for raising kids and cooking and housekeeping while men go to work, to war and all those things. I personally would like to stay home with kids. Maybe someone else would rather things differently, like maybe they do. I have to say, I also don't know them. I think I saw them once, back when their kids were rather small. I know them only from bf's and his step-dad's stories about them. And from their stories, they are just a couple of real weird people XD

Maybe it's weird for me because you should care more about your kids than your carrier, but I also realize everything is relative so yeah, I might be talking shit XD

I'm glad :)
I can totally understand personally wanting that, it's a personal decision after all :)
For me it's just that wanting a career doesn't mean you don't care about your kids. As long as you find a model that works for your family, the two should be compatible, imo. Like, it's not worse for the kids if the dad is with them and the mom has a career (I think it would be very unfair towards men to claim it was!), so that's just as good of a model as the other way around. Both working parttime and sharing the time with their kids would be good too (maybe even better, if it works out? Since the kids get to see both their parents for a substantial amount of time) - personally that would be the model I'd favour. But that of course can only work if it's possible to work parttime and the workplace is sufficiently flexible that the scheduling between the parents works out... So it might be a more stressful life for the parents that way.

Actually, on the topic of caring about your kids vs wanting a career - I think some women specifically want a career because they'd want to be able to provide for their kids on their own. Like, if something happens to the dad, or they separate or he gets too sick to work or whatever. If one was staying at home with the kids for years, it can be very hard to get back into a job. So I think if that's the motivation, wanting a career can actually be caring about your kids, worrying about their future.

See, everything's relative. Where I live it's almost impossible for any model to work out. Whe one parent works, and other stays home, the kids hardly ever see the working parent. When both parents work (which they have to, because the economy sucks balls here and with just one salary it's impossible to live as a couple let alone with kids), they have to have help. It's either grandparents (who often aren't old enough to be on pension yet, so they have no time), or a babysitter (because parents have to stay at work) and that costs.
At least one parent must work full time, because otherwise there's no way to live, and it would be good if the other parent would also work at least part time or remotely. But yeah, the economy here sucks and the labor market sucks and everything sucks and there's no way to have kids -.- Okay, I end this rant. Of course this is what happens when I let my thoughts wander too much and I start listening to my fears This all of course assuming an average salary per parent, and by average I don't mean the shit they tell us, I actually mean the median, because median and average salary in Poland is like pffft lol nope, not even close.
Oh, did I mention, brother of bf's step-father "has found Jesus" and that's why he felt guilty about not spending time with family and (or maybe "but most of all", who knows) about spreading sin everywhere (alcohol distribution)... yeah.... I'm not judging, no... It's fine, at least his kids will have someone right?

Geez what the hell is wrong with your sister? I thought mine was bad. Mine tends to be selfish too though. So I know a bit of what you're feeling.

And the things that jerk did to her! I can't believe she was with him for so long. She sounds like a highly unreasonable person.

You don't need all that crap in your life. You need to move on without her. One day she's going to wake up and realize no-one's there for her and she's going to be all alone and regretful. Hopefully in your lifetime. But I hate to say the way she sounds I doubt it.

Don't worry Men, you have me! I'm hear for you!

Lol, that's a good question, I'm still trying to figure it out

Yeah, he even cheated on her, and she forgave him. And that was the perfect time to just spit on his shoes and walk away x.x But the cunt she didn't listen to me when I told her that Her actions really make no sense to me. Even my mom doesn't want to spend much time with her, although she's reluctant to admit it And that's saying something, mom used to defend her a lot.

Bf also doubts it, and I doubt it too, tbh. I bet she's too stupid and/or stubborn to realize it.

Thanks

You may not want the answer now that I think about it.

What a louse! And she seriously makes no sense.

Sounds like it. Guess there's no helping her.

You're welcome.

Well I'm sure you'll do better without her toxic presence in your life.

Probably not Just the knowledge that she's in the wrong will suffice.

I'm doing better as long as she's not mentioned. But grandma still thinks she'll change the situation if she'll say anything, like for example: "K got her driver's license! :D" Who cares, granny? I know I don't I'm much happier when I don't think/listen about her.
I'm starting to dread Christmas... Every year it's the same. Bf and I don't want to see her, but we can't do anything about it, so we just kinda try to avoid her at all cost x.x

Here's my opinion: get professional help. Maybe K is just too scared to get any help, not that I'm on her side, but at the same time, I think maybe, just maybe you should just cut her out of your life unless a professional advises it. Of course, I would be iffy if you were advised to talk to her. I don't think you're in the wrong, and I admit, I may need a little help myself.

I'm trying to cut her out (already not talking to her, no chatting, mailing, etc.), though everyone is just kind enough to remind me of her existence by thoughtfully telling me how she is and what she's planning and stuff like that. They don't understand I don't care about it at all. My mom tells me K wants to make things right with me. So I aks "did she appologize to you or grandma?" Mom says no, so I say "then she can forget". Last time my mom talked to me about K, she said she thinks they've explained some things to each other, or that K explained her point of view to her, so she thinks it's fair. Again, I asked if K apologized to her for at least something, still no. I'm tired of repeating my stand to mom. Every time I ask her not to tell me things about K, or that I really could care less, she keeps asking me why I'm so hateful towards K. It's not like I'm changing my answer, it's always the same: I won't start caring unless she apologizes, then I can think about trying to make up. How is that hard?
I'm currently going through therapy, but focusing on something else than my family problems. Though I'm sure we'll also get to that as well.

Are you searching for some professional help then, if you say you might need it?